Thursday, May 21, 2009
Correction
Thanks everyone for bearing with me,
WEB
My Grandfather
Incase you didn't know, I'm talking about Bernard Khoo.
Thank you to the readers who posted and told me about his arrest.
Hey, maybe he's already been released. At least I hope he is.
ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO TELL EVERYONE WHO TRIES TO POST COMMENTS SAYING THAT MY GRANDFATHER IS A FILTHY OLD MAN AND RAPED RAJA PETRA'S WIFE, YOU CAN JUST FIND THE DOOR AND DON'T LET IT HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT! HE'S TEN TIMES THE MAN YOU WILL EVER BE BECAUSE HE STANDS UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT!
Monday, March 9, 2009
RIP Common Sense
Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.'
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Why do they say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea? Does that mean the other 1/5 enjoys it?
Anyway, so it's Christmas Break and I am very happy because it's been a really long term for me.
Frankly, I'm glad it's over.
Who's cruel idea was it to put an "s" in lisp?
I'm reading a new series called "Gatekeepers" by Anthony Horowitz.
That's all I got for right now.
NO WAIT!
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
Thursday, November 27, 2008
12 days
HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF REMEMBER???
Oh, I just had an idea. Maybe I can make this a competition. If someone can think up a way to make me remember to post and it works for a whole week, they will be able to post on my blog anytime they want just by emailing their post to me and it will be put on as soon as possible. Within reason, of course, nothing inappropriate.
Anyway, this past week has been quite interesting. Some students hacked into the administration of the school using the laptops we are given and were able to change documents and mess with other people's computers. The school found out and took away all of our laptops to check for evidence of these crimes. Now, I promise you it was not me. Even if I wanted to hack the school system I would have no idea how. We just got our computers back because they found the perpetrators and they will probably be suspended. I think that those people who committed the crime should be punished but should also be awarded an A+ in Technology.
I have a piano concert coming up soon. Anyone in the Nassau area is invited to attend. Tickets are $20 but you would have to buy them from me. It is on December the 14th at the Atlantis Ballroom. It will be spectacular, I promis you. The show begins at 6:00 but there is an art exhibition and silent auction starting at 5:00. You must dress nicely or you may not be let in.
I will be playing
1) Invention 14 by Bach
2) Waltz in A minor by Chopin
3) Turkish March by Mozart
4) Maple Leaf Rag by Joplin
5) Tres Villicancicos a Spanish Christmas Duet.
Until next time, Bernard
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, 15 November, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Oh dear
November 13, 2008
Well, it's Thursday and as usual, I caught a ride with the Jenningses to school. The ride took about 15 minutes as usual during the course of which, Daniel told me about what kind of celebrations he would do when he scored a goal tomorrow in soccer. He was wondering whether to go with Renaldo or Beckham. I read my book, Brisingr, and pretended to pay attention. When we got to school, I went to art where I worked on my one-point-perspective room which is coming along nicely. Then I went to Spanish but my teacher was sick so I went to Study Hall. After break, I went to science where we had a lab on magnesium and separating mixtures. After that I went to Humanities, where two out of the four groups in our class presented our projects. At lunch, I went to my Interact meeting which is like a Rotary club for kids. We talked about different projects we could do around the island this Christmas. After lunch, I had ICT (or technology) where I presented my Alternative Energy Project. Then I had Math which was same as usual. Quite easy. Finally we had English where we had a Grammar test. Today was quite heavy but it's good because it means tomorrow will be pretty easy. I hope. After school, I went to the D'Aguilars' house to tutor Alex and Oliver on the piano. Oliver has mastered his pieces and Alex is learning two new pieces. After that, I went to the airport to pick up my dad who went to Abaco for work. He is the supervisor of a BEC (Bahamas Electricity Corporation) project where they are setting down a cable under the water. When we came home, I started on my homework which consisted of a list of things that make me feel good (which I will post at a later date because I am very tired) and a small French project where I created a French identity of myself and added pictures. And that brings me up to now.
Phew
What a day!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
The Dean's Son
This is only the rough draft so feel free to proofread or leave comments.
Sadly, I can't indent my paragraphs so you'll have to bear with me. Sorry!
By Bernard Farquharson
It was just after 12:30, ah jus’ finished ma lunch, one big ole T-bone steak with mashed potaters and a grand-ee-o-say mug of- uh… well, that’s beside the point.
As ah was sayin’ ah finished ma steak ‘n’ taters ’n’ ah figured ah’d take a walk ‘round the high school te digest a bit. Then, when ah rounded the corner ah saw young Andy Stevens on the ground cryin’ with his hands over his middle ‘n’ Marcus was runnin’ away. Ah yelled at him te stop and te ma suh-prise he did stop ‘n’ came back.
“Principal Tate, I can explain” he said to me. Now how many times have ah heard that excuse?
“Oww! My stomach. I think my kidney’s burst.” Andy said. The poor child looked awful. I helped him up ‘n’ sen’ him te the nurse’s office.
“Oh, thank you Principal Tate,” Andy said and dem tears were really comin’ now. “If you hadn’t come I think he would have killed me.”
Then I turned te Marcus.
“Son, there ain’t no need fer yer excuses.” I said. “Ye obviously beat up Andy. Marcus-“
“Um, Mark, sir, please.”
“Do not innerrupt me!” Gosh darn it if there’s anything I hate it’s a chil’ innerupting me.
He shuts up real quick then.
“Marcus, yes I will call you by yer god-given-name, ye have suspension durin’ the course of which you will write a ten page uh-po-ler-gee letter te poor Andy. Boy what were ye thinkin’? Ah’ll be callin’ yer parents ‘n’ this will go on yer permanent record.”
By now the boy was on the verge o’ tears. He didn’t look up at me un-teel I tol’ him it would go on ‘is permanent record. Boy I was purty impressed he didn’t innerrupt me but what really scared me was the hate comin’ out o’ his eyes.
“OMG Katie, that shirt is, like, so last week.”
And Katie’s like
“What the heck, Jessica, this is, like, your shirt”
And I’m like
“Yah but I like lent that to you, like, last week.”
And she’s like
“Uh, Jessica, you are so mean!”
And I’m like
“Well, like, fine, I was gonna lend you my new Gucci miniskirt but-“
And she’s like
“OMG Jessica, that is so cool. You’re like my VBFF.
And I’m like
“Like, what?”
And she’s like
“Very Best Friend Forever, LOL, duh!
And I’m like
“OK, well seya. TTYL”
And she’s like
“Ok, like, see you later, alligator.”
And I’m like
“Um, Hello! It’s Jessie Gator, remember?”
And she’s-
Hey, like, you know it's, like, rude to interrupt.
OK fine, so then the next day at, like, school. I was, like, getting my books out of my locker to go to class at like 12:38 because I got a text from Logan saying that Mitchell told Katie that Cory told Mitchell that Lucy told Cory that Brenda told Lucy that Garrett told Brenda that there was gonna be a party in the gym and we should all, like, skip class.
And, like, when I got there, it was empty, and I was like OMG Logan, Mitchell, Katie, Cory, Brenda, Lucy, and Garrett are like so dead.
So I went to my locker, right, to get my stuff, right, and OMG I saw Mr. Tate freaking out at that nerd, like, Michael or something. I don’t know why but that nerd wouldn’t do anything, like, bad. He’d be too scared. Jeez, Mr. Tate was like shouting his head off at him, right, so I, like, took my books and hurried to my class. Then when I got there, I, like, stomped in and-
Hey, like, where are you going?
Oh, yes, I am so sorry, but this is quite exciting, yes?
Well I was coming to school yesterday and I am hearing that my good friend, Marcus, was suspended and I am indeed quite surprised.
So I am going to the house of Marcus after school yesterday to be asking him what happened.
His mother wouldn’t let me come in because he was being grounded.
I was quite confused, so I am coming to school today and asking people what they saw. But, it is a funny thing, the only person who was stopping to be talking to me was Jessica Gator, Yes, indeed, I am not meddling around in your brain. She was quite angry and I am thinking this is indeed the only reason she would be stopping to talk to me.
So when I am politely asking her what is wrong, she starts talking about her um- VBFF who borrowed her miniskirt then last week she caught an alligator but, hello, it was a jessigator. Quite frankly, she was confusing me, so I am politely asking her what happened with Marcus.
Well, she told me that she was just seeing Marcus being yelled to by Mr. Tate in the hallway at around 12:40 but she didn’t stay to see what was going on so her contribution was quite and utterly useless.
I became quite annoyed when she is running on again so I am forgetting to be polite so I am walking away.
I feel, how do you say, out of the light.
Oh no!
I just said that out loud. What if he heard me? Maybe he’s nearby. Oh no! He’s gonna give me a swirly. What time is it? 12:33 wish I’d never been assigned the locker right next to Andy Stevens.
Uh oh shhhhh… I hear someone coming. Oh no! It’s Andy. Maybe someone heard me call him a jerk and told him. Oh no! I am so dead. Ok, calm down Chris, he’s gonna hear me. Wait, we’re supposed to be in class. Man, I really studied hard for today’s math test. Even though I lost my study notes. Good thing all the teachers know about my susceptibility to being shut in lockers during classes.
But I wonder what Andy’s doing here. Probably trying to cram for the test. Wait, he’s got the questions from the math test and he’s- THAT’S CHEATING.
Oh wait, I've got my handy-dandy camcorder at school today as usual. This is my chance. Ok, it’s on. Ooh I wonder if he’ll get expelled. Of course not. He’s the dean’s son so I better stay anonymous.
Wait, who’s that? Oh it’s Mark. He’s pretty cool. What is he doing here? Probably on his way to the bathroom. Oh look, he’s talking to Andy.
“Hey, kid, what are you doing? Shouldn’t you be in class?” Nice job, Marcus. Tell him how it is.
“Shouldn’t you? Mind your own business nerd!” That’s Andy for you.
“You’re Andy, right?”
“Like I said, mind your own business.”
Aww man I dropped the camera. Ok, Mark just saw him cheating and now he’s telling him off. OK I got it!
“Look, no one is going to believe you when you tell them the dean’s son was cheating on a test right after you beat him up.” Andy is smiling one of those stupid smiles of his.
“What are you talking about?” Poor Mark. I can tell what’s coming.
“Owwww! AH my kidney.” Yep. He’s such a baby; Mark is going to be in so much trouble. Oh wait a second. No he won’t! I’ve got the evidence right here on my camcord-
Oh no. NO! I could have sworn I took the lens cap OFF!!!
Today is Friday, the fifth day I stuff Chris in his locker. Only three days ‘til the end of school. That kid is such a freak. He carries around a camcorder everywhere he goes. He films everything he does. I wouldn’t be surprised if he films in the bathroom too. Gross. That kid deserves every time I stuff him in his locker and every swirly I give him.
I figure I’m just doing the world a favor.
Anyway so today at lunch I stuffed him in his locker but I was nice. I left him a grape. So after lunch I went to the test and wrote down all the questions on a sheet of paper.
Aren’t I smart? Yeah, I know.
So then I put the paper in my pocket and I went to my locker to get my study notes.
Well actually Chris’s study notes.
But then, that stupid nerd, Mark, came strolling by.
“Hey, kid, what are you doing? Shouldn’t you be in class?”
Uhhh! That stupid idiot thinks he can talk to me like that! I’m the dean’s son for goodness sake!
“Shouldn’t you? Mind your own business nerd!” I should have cursed him out for that.
“You’re Andy, right?” I was thinking, “Is he still talking to me?”
“Like I said, mind your own business.” I must be in a good mood today.
Now he looks surprised. Oh no.
“You’re cheating on your test, aren’t you?” he said with a frown. “You better stop and get back to class.”
Excuse me? Ok this means war.
“Look, no one is going to believe you when you tell them the dean’s son was cheating on a test right after you beat him up.” I played dirty I know but he deserved it.
“What are you talking about?” He looks scared now. He should be.
I fell to the ground with my hands over my kidney.
Thank goodness for drama camp.
“Owwww! AH my kidney.”
“ Wha-what?!” Mark is spluttering away. HA!
Ha ha he’s gonna be in so much trouble. Oh no he’s running away. Wow, can you believe my luck? Principal Tate just came around the corner. He’s shouting at Mark to come back. Time to milk it.
“Principal Tate, I can explain” Mark said.
“Oww! My stomach. I think my kidney’s burst.” I should get a Grammy. A masterpiece. Mwahh!
Then he sends me to the nurse’s office. I go there and she says I’m fine but I keep rolling and screaming so they send me to the hospital. I figure if I make it there then there will be trouble even if there’s nothing wrong with me.
Marcus Finlayson, you are going down! Or at least to the principal’s office.
I’m a good student. I’m actually the best in my class and it’s true; people hate me for it. But, I have friends and I play sports and stuff. Some people just don’t understand kids like me.
After today I think Andy Stevens is the king of those people.
Yesterday, I was on my way to the bathroom after lunch and I saw this kid standing by his locker but he didn’t have a hall pass.
“Hey, kid, what are you doing? Shouldn’t you be in class?” Of course this was Andy but I didn’t recognize him at first. I wish I had just left him alone.
“Shouldn’t you? Mind your own business nerd!” I should have known right then that this kid was trouble.
“You’re Andy, right?” I tried to be nice and personalize the conversation.
“Like I said, mind your own business.” Well, that sort of got me suspicious so I took a closer look at the paper he had.
It was a list of chicken-scratched questions he must have written in a hurry. He had MATH TEST QUESCHUNS scrawled across the top.
“You’re cheating on your test, aren’t you?” I said with a frown. “You better stop and get back to class.” Then he glared at me.
“Look, no one is going to believe you when you tell them the dean’s son was cheating on a test right after you beat him up.” He started to smile.
I should have run right there.
“What are you talking about?” I had no idea what was going to happen but I knew it wouldn’t be good.
He fell to the floor and started writhing in pain.
“Owwww! AH my kidney.” He started yelling so I ran.
Strangely as I was running I thought I heard the locker next to Andy’s curse and say something about a lens cap.
Suddenly I heard Principal Tate yelling for me to come back.
I stopped and came back ready to tell him what happened.
“Principal Tate, I can explain” I said.
He had that “heard it all before” look on him.
“Oww! My stomach. I think my kidney’s burst.” Oh my gosh. I can’t believe this. It’s just so low!
Principal gave Andy a late pass and sent him to the nurse’s office.
“Oh, thank you Principal Tate,” Andy said with tears streaming down his face. “If you hadn’t come I think he would have killed me.”
Then he left with a sly smile in my direction and Principal Tate turned to me.
“Son, there ain’t no need fer yer excuses.” he said. “Ye obviously beat up Andy. Marcus-“
“Um, Mark, sir, please.” Even at a time like this, I had to correct him. Me and my big mouth.
“Do not innerrupt me!”
It was then that I decided I couldn’t win so what was the point in fighting?
“Marcus, yes I will call you by yer god-given-name, ye have suspension durin’ the course of which you will write a ten page uh-po-ler-gee letter te poor Andy. Boy what were ye thinkin’? Ah’ll be callin’ yer parents ‘n’ this will go on yer permanent record.”
I was so upset, I felt like crying!
At that moment I hated Andy Stevens more than I had ever hated anything in the world. Because of Andy Stevens, I was ruined. My perfectly clean record was now soiled by his awful deed. I would never get into Harvard or Cambridge. At least that’s what I thought then.
But that’s not going to happen because somehow, someday I will expose Andy Stevens for what he really is. A little sixth grade monster.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
By Bernard Farquharson
It’s funny. But not funny haha. It’s more wrong. It’s wrong that every teenager on my street wanted to go to war. They want to serve their country and be like Gordon Higgs down the block who valiantly raided a Japanese camp, killed ten Japs and found his way home to a brass medal of honor.
I was much too young to join but I wouldn’t be swayed. I put on a fake mustache and they took me in with open arms. Wishing me the best of luck. I was so excited that night. Ecstatic and eager to condemn myself to death. Ma and Pa tried to stop me but I didn’t care. I sneaked out late at night and hopped on the war wagon.
Ouch. It hurts. Lying here in the dark light of sundown, the growls and bellows of cannons and guns rock the ground beneath me. Me. Lying here in a pool of my on blood. A thirteen-year-old boy. What am I doing here? I force my mouth open or at least I think I do. No sound escapes. Where is all this blood coming from? Does it matter? They think I’m dead. They can’t hear me. I can’t hear me. I let my eyes shut. I’ve witnessed enough. Young men shot down in their prime. Mounds of bodies being used for cover. I open my eyes.
A soldier stops to rest two feet away. His eyes find my almost lifeless gaze. He takes in my fair boyish face, my flyaway brown hair Ma was so proud of, matted with blood. He sighs. “Such a waste.” I blink. He gasps. Reaches for me.
A splutter of fire. My savior falls. His lifeless eyes held any hope I had left in me. Crushed it. My tears finally flowed freely and mixed with the blood.
I wish it would end. I wish a stray bullet would just catch me. Release me. I miss my home. My fortress. My people. I wish I’d never left. I wish I had known. Why do they lie to us? No one would want this. I don’t want this. I wish I would die. I want to die. Goodbye Ma, Pa. Good-.
A flash.
Silence.
Peace.
Friday, October 10, 2008
HaiKHOO #1
I have written haikus before but this is my first HaiKHOO.
Cup of Pearls
By Bernard Farquharson
There once was a man from Nur
Who was sadly just utterly poor,
'til one day he found
A cup on the ground
And went to the market next door.
When he took his new cup to the front
A man checked it and then gave a grunt
He quickly stood up
And said “Sir, this cup
Is worth less than a legless man’s punt.”
Walking home he felt very ashamed
And thought, “Well, who else can be blamed?”
Laid the cup on the peat
And wept in defeat
Then looked down and jumped up and exclaimed!
“What’s this in my cup that I see?
Like a sun at its highest degree.
It looks like a pearl
But then how in the world?
It is not, it should not, could it be?
And he wept again, this time with joy
Dancing ‘round his house like a young boy
So he danced and he cried
Until soon the tears dried
And he smiled at his favorite new toy.
Instead of a gem served with tears
He had pearls to last all of his years
So he cried a bit more
And went shopping galore
With his heart set on buying out Sears
He married a beautiful honey
Not the least of all ‘cause of his money
Kissed her parents “Adieu!”
To his mansion they flew
And the future looked bright fair and sunny.
But soon, thousands just weren’t enough,
And then millions were not up to snuff
He turned into a miser
His wife none the wiser
Then one day his eyes grew hard and tough.
The man however couldn't understand
Why his tear ducts couldn’t meet with his demand
They stopped working altogether
Which put him in stormy weather
So he shut himself inside his room and planned
And finally, overcome by lust and greed
He committed a most dastardly deed.
He took a chopping knife
And sliced the head right off his wife
Thinking grief would be exactly what he’d need.
Sure enough he started to cry
Made a pile of pearls seven feet high
Soon they filled up the whole room
Sealed his fate and sealed his doom,
And he drowned in the pearls; yes he died.
The moral I will now reveal
Is to never want more than is real
But one thing I don’t see
Is to cry why didn’t he
Cut an onion and then sniff the peel?
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Orlando Trip

Thursday, August 7, 2008
I'm Back
Monday, July 28, 2008
Web called ...
Thursday, July 24, 2008
My imagination
Everywhere I go
I take my time and look
At things all around me
On whichever path I took
But the best thing to look at
Are the sights right in my head
My imagination is so vast
So big and so widespread
Snowmen in the summer
In my best friend’s small backyard
And swimming in the winter
Diving for playing cards
Walking on the clouds
Or anywhere you please
Maybe watching clouds go by
While you glide on the breeze
Whenever I’m kind of bored
Or I’ve got nothing to do
I disappear into my mind
Bernard Farquharson 2005
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Update from Web
I have to admit that it was hard not to call the school after day 5 of silence but we restrained ourselves and waited until day 6 when we broke down and sent an email to his camp counsellor ... but in this case no news was good news so we are once again on even keel of yellow alert. On behalf of Web, thanks for visiting and please come again :)
Digging deeper
Have you ever scratched the surface?
Have you ever wondered why?
Is there life in space?
Why is there blue in the sky?
Ten percent of our brain
Is all we ever use.
I mean it’s okay, it’s normal,
I’m not trying to accuse.
Have you ever searched,
For the meaning of things?
For where the ocean goes,
Or how a telephone rings.
If we all looked further,
Who is the Grim Reaper?
We could find so many things.
Shouldn’t we all dig deeper?
Bernard Farquharson 2006
Monday, July 21, 2008
I Am Thankful ...
for many things;
for being alive
when the alarm clock rings;
for all my family
sitting around the table at breakfast
when we chow down.
For all my skills;
piano and smarts,
for my soccer skills (well ... no)
and I am okay at arts.
I am very thankful for my close friends
Brandon, Kristoph and Theo J.
The list never ends
Ethan, Cynthia and Gerrick
who happens to be my cousin too.
They're always there to make me smile
when I am sad or blue.
I am thankful for
the roof that sits above my head.
I am grateful for the clothes on my back,
and my warm and comfy bed.
I am thankful for enough to eat ...
never starved before.
There's always been enough for me
and usually more and more.
There's more each and every time
but sadly it has come to this;
I'm out of words to rhyme!
Bernard Farquharson 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Web in absentia
Yesterday was a day of auditions and registration so classes started today. He's already met up with two of his cabin mates; Jack and Tony from last summer and is already making some new friends. The boy who sleeps on the top bunk of his double-decker is from Alaska, a fitting foil to our Bahamian Boy!
He sounds really happy but misses posting on his blog, so he has generously allowed me to keep it going while he is away. Keep those comments coming as I will convey them to him each day along with his clustermap and sitemeter numbers!




